(noun) a lifeless, mechanical person fixated on the obtainment and consumption of any fried sweet dough, typically in the shape of a ring


My genetic love of donuts paired with third trimester pregnancy hormones have clearly turned me into a dangerous Donut Droid with the focus of a heat-seeking missile and lack of free will against certain triggers. Today, my friend confided over the phone that she had splurged and eaten two donuts. Shortly thereafter, I left in my car to pick up lunch and a few groceries. The following twenty minutes are hazy. The next clear memory is pulling back into my office parking lot and looking over on the passenger seat of the car to find a bag filled with three full donuts and a partial fourth ring of glazed, fried dough. I am usually a huge advocate of taking responsibility for oneself and one’s actions. But in this case, I believe my current cocktail of hormones, stress and donut addiction have rendered me completely powerless. *sigh*